One bad day

Sometimes, I just want to be a woman. I don't want to be a single mom, a full time student, a worker. i don't want to feel like the whole world is resting on my shoulders. I know it isn't I know God is taking care of me, but sometimes I turn in a circle, and there is no one there but me. That's the downfall of being single. Sometimes single means just that single. All it takes to remind me that there is a relationship I long for but am not getting is a touch. a much needed hug. I just want to curl up in the arms of a man and have him hold me, rub my arm, kiss my forehead, and love me. This is the emotional side of me. The weaker side of me that wants to give in to temptation and lower my standards. I understand lonely women, and I understand godly women who do stupid things in the name of lonliness. Sometimes I am one. I fight this never ending battle between what I believe I want out of life and a man, and what i want out of right now. I am always trying to keep my present aligned with my future, but sometimes it seems more aligned with my past. Will I ever overcome myself? Will I ever let go and let God lead completely. Why did I have to open that door again. That door that says you have a physical and emotional need to be touched, to be loved. Will I ever feel that I measure up to my own expectations or the expectations of a good man. Today I am tired. Today I am broke. Today I am overwhelmed. Today I am weak. God you say your strength is made perfect in my weakness. Carry me through another day. Carry me through another season in my life. If your reading this and feeling sad for me please don't. I am a very blessed person. I am blessed with my health and the health of my children. I am blessed to have a wonderful home and a wonderful God who not only provides my every need but gives me a sound mind to distinguish between right and wrong. I am further than most that I can see my imperfections, and take full responsibility for my actions. No one put me here! I put myself here.